Around the end of December, I pray about a theme for the upcoming year. I ask God what He wants me to focus on and what verse(s) I should write down as an encouragement. And every year I’ve done this, I’ve received a word that so aptly gives me focus for the year or describes the season to come.

In 2023, my word was “Renewal.” I felt overwhelmed by unveiled insecurities and hurts, and I needed a reset. The year had its highs and lows (as years always do), but in the end I felt rejuvenated and so thankful for a renewed spirit and perspective.

In 2024, my word was “Abide,” and it was a significant period of growth in my life drawing closer to God in every circumstance. I went through some tough situations, and it felt like every lesson was learning how to be sensitive to the Spirit’s counsel and to give all my anxieties to God by keeping my eyes on Him.

In 2025, my word was “Faith” with the feeling it was going to be a big year of change for me. While my partner waited to hear back from PhD programs, I held on to a lot of hopes and looked forward to seeing how life was going to change for us.

And the year started off strong. I hosted a “giving party” in response to the fires in LA with the hope my friends would donate to the California Fire Foundation–and they did! I celebrated the weddings and engagements of friends with the tentative hope that someday soon it would happen for me. I visited Boston with my partner several times with a growing, unspoken hope that it might become our temporary home. After he moved for his program, we talked often with the hope we could make long-distance work and progress our relationship. And then, in faith that this was the right decision for us both, we decided to break up.

I had hoped for so many wonderful things, but my misplaced desires for the future left me feeling empty. My dream of building a life with someone I love ended in a beautiful breakup, and in the process, God revealed how often I place my faith in fleeting circumstances and imperfect people–including myself–rather than in the One who remains steadfast and constant.

If 2025 has taught me anything, it’s that faith isn’t about having things figured out or praying only about what I’m holding on to in this life. It’s trusting that God goes before me in every decision, every relationship, every unknown, and that I need to be brave and open no matter what. Looking back, even though things didn’t turn out the way I’d hoped, I’ve still been blessed with an overarching sense of peace, joy in deepening friendships, and a newfound motivation to make the most of where I am now.

So, I end this year the way I need to: with open hands and an open heart. I believe in the midst of sorrow, God builds something beautiful. In the loss, He makes space. And in the discouragement, He reminds me that hope is not fragile when it is rooted in Him.

Whatever word God gives me for 2026, I know it will be exactly what I need. And I will step into the new year with a refreshed understanding of faith, trusting that God who began a good work in me is faithful to complete it. 

The song that came to mind as I wrote this was “Faith” from GroupMusic, and it seems fitting to end with these lines:

It seems like there′s so much to hope for
So many dreams I wish they all could come true
When I think about your ways, Lord
It gives me so much faith in all that you do

Faith to see beyond what I can see
Faith to know that you would do great things
I will trust you Lord I'll always believe
As I hold on to my faith
Jesus you are holding on to me